


Hate Me Today

by birdsandivory



Series: Voltron Drabbles [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A Quiet Conversation, Canon Compliant, Heavy Angst, Just a drabble, M/M, Pre-Canon, Pre-Kerb Angst, Pre-breakup, Shadam, adam just really wants shiro to stay, adashi, lots and lots of regret on both ends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-22 07:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16593584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdsandivory/pseuds/birdsandivory
Summary: Nothing bothers Shiro more than the space between himself and Adam when they go to sleep at night.





	Hate Me Today

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of the tumblr prompt: "If you go through with this, I will hate you forever."
> 
> My poor heart can't stand to do this to these two, but please, try to enjoy the angst. ;;

_"Hate me today,_

_Hate me tomorrow,_

_Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you."_

_\- Hate Me, Blue October_

 

* * *

 

Their bed seemed bigger with each passing day.

Though, maybe it was because Adam refused to share his space.

It was a painful thought, a hairline fracture in his ribs that ached with every breath, and when Shiro sunk into the sheets at night — he could only think that the man used to lie _so close_ to him. Sleeping underneath a comforter as heavy as what they had did nothing to do away with the cold at his side. It was a loss he was forced to mourn; there had been light years between himself and Adam since he broke the news about being a part of the upcoming Kerberos Mission.

Shiro wondered if he could blame him, and maybe, if he were on the other side — he’d feel the same way.

But he wasn’t.

Tearing his eyes from the ceiling, he looked to his partner — in life, and in flight, he’d think — the gap separating them so wide, it felt like the universe could fill the void. Adam was facing the other direction, wrapped up in the thick button-up pajamas Shiro hated, body rigid though it rose and fell with each breath. How he wanted to reach out and envelope him in his arms, hold him like he had every single night for years of their life, but he knew it to be a useless thought; the other man would just get up and make his bed on the couch.

He had to imagine whether or not Adam stayed out of obligation or the hope that he’d be able to convince the pilot to stay.

Staring longingly at the other’s back a few moments more, he sighed quietly and looked away, moving to turn onto his side himself — only to be stopped by the sound of a quiet voice.

“Why?”

The question was a whisper, but it was enough to catch Shiro’s attention, and he shot a glance over to find two tired, puffy eyes bereft of moisture staring at him. He was neither glaring nor searching, but the frown he wore was foretelling of his inner turmoil.

Shiro breathed. “Adam?”

“Why do you have to go through with this?” He’d heard the same culmination of words a hundred times, and it never failed to make him feel guilty, never failed to tear him apart. “You’re going to be out there, where I can’t reach you, and who knows what will happen?”

He felt his brows pinch in his confusion, not recognizing such a desperate plea. Adam was a man that argued practicality — logical reasoning — facts. This part of him that spoke of fear wasn’t something the pilot was used to. “Since when have you ever been afraid?”

“Since I’ve had you to lose.” The answer seemed so simple, cracked through gritted teeth, and Shiro softened in understanding. There was no easy way to say goodbye to someone for so long, but still, he hoped their relationship would come out of it stronger — more meaningful than ever. Reaching up, he made to brush his fingers along a dark cheek, only for the other to flinch away from his touch.

“Adam…”

“If you go through with this, I will hate you forever.” Syllables wavered, a dam with crumbling foundation, but they were firm — full of such determination that Shiro had to believe him. He was sure he’d let his sorrow show, because for just a second, the man in his bed looked regretful.

That made two of them.

With a heart so heavy it nearly held his tongue, he shook his head, eyes downcast.

“I’m sorry.”

Adam said nothing more, only turned away for the second time that night with the intention of never looking back.

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream with me on Tumblr! I am [birdsandivory](http://birdsandivory.tumblr.com).


End file.
